A Job

O.K, so I am ready to start working. I have not had a formal job before, so this will be something new. I was going to wait till I finished taking the CPA, but I do not want to wait another year. Working will give me more structure in my day. I will have to get really disciplined to balance school-CPA review, learning, and a part-time job.
I have to polish up my resume. Luckily, one of my classes made me write a resume, which will be a good springboard for my real copy. My cousin’s wife is in human resources, so I can have her give me some input. This is an important step for me

Chesed

I was out of town a couple weeks ago for Shabbos staying at a friends friend. They were so nice, making me feel at home. It was a rough weekend, so there hospitality meant a lot to me.

This got me thinking about myself now, and the home I want to have. I am a little upset when having company over, especially if I have to lose my room, or share a room. Having company is a sacrifice, but the weekend made me see how much it can mean to your guest. I would be more open to having guests when I am married I"YH. There is also much you can learn from everyone, and having guests for a meal or Shabbos, is a great way to meet people, and strengthen existing friendships.

It is not only big things like having people over, that can make a difference. Small things like offering someone a ride, or help with a package. When I know what someone needs, I am happy to do it. However, I do not naturally anticipate what other peoples need are. I need to be more concious of people so I can be a better person. Helping someone when they do not ask, shows a much deeper level of caring.

I hear that girls expect you to anticipate their needs. In order to be a better person, emulating Hashem's ways, and to not be suprised with my wife bursting inot tears because I do not love her, I should work on this middah.

Eretz Yisrael

I am going to Eretz Yisrael after Tisha Bav for 2 weeks. I was in Israel for Pesach a couple years ago, but I never went to yeshiva there. I do not have the same connection to the land that so many people have. I feel uncomfortable that I do not have this attachment which is so strong and fundamental for so many people. However, there is no switch that I can turn on in my head to feel the Kedusha. I will try to "take in" the Israel experience as much as I can.

Lakewood Internet Ban & Teens-At-Risk

There has been much talk about the Lakewood internet ban, both pro and con. I think we are dealing with a more fundamental problem that is manifested by the internet. This issue is parents involement in their kids lives. Parents who are involved with their children do not let them surf freely on the internet just like they do not allow them to roam freely on the street, and hang out with anybody. I think many of the problems with the internet would be solved if parents would talk to their children about the dangers of the internet, and monitor its use. This involes a lot of time. Many people are so busy trying to make ends meet to pay the mortgage and yeshiva tuition, that they do not have enough time for their kids. Everyone must make time for their kids.

Shadchan

I went to a Shadchan tonight. She was on the mark. She pointed out that since I am quiet it might be better to go out with a girl who is not so out there, like performing, etc.
I am not so clear on this point, I think some more dating will clarify this. She suggested a name of someone in 12th grade who would be the type that I would click with, and she told me to ask my sister who is in high school. My sister showed me the yearbook from this year, and I think the shadchan was right on track. The truth is, I thought this girl was very sweet and cute, maybe worth waiting a year for...

The Waiting Game

I said yes to a girl thursday night, and I am waiting for a friend to get back to me whether she wants to go out with me. Her families checking, however, is different than I am used to. Her family actually called someone on my list and asked a lot of questions. Also, a good friend of mine not on the list was called. Finally, what makes this checking different is that our families go way back, our grandparents are good friends.
They asked a reference of mine a very good question, What is his relationship with his parents? Being that my parents are divorced this is an especially good question.

dating

I have been dating for 5 months and have a love/hate relationship with it. ( I have not gotten far enough with any girl to have a love/hate relationship with her!) I have gone out with a girl around once a month. I have not gone out past a second date. I have had some of the common dating experiences: You like the girl, she does not like you. She likes you, and you are not attracted to her. You are both nice but have nothing to talk about. If I were given a choice to have the girl I will BE"H marry be my first date, I would decline. Now do not get me wrong I would definitely pause a second before saying No. It is very tempting, but I think I learnt a lot from dating and have much more to learn. Here are some ways I have gained from dating:

1) I have realized how important friends and Rebbeim are for guidance. I thought that I could handle dating mostly myself since I had read some dating columns and books, I was wrong. These people were important for deciding whether to go out again, and other issues.

2) I also appreciate my family more. My mother has helped a lot with the checking process. My sister is going with me on a practice date tonight so I can practice a couple things with her. Since I am one girl away from leaving my family, I try to make the most of my time with my family.

3) I can empathize with the whole "shidduch crisis." It is one thing to hear the stories and frustrations, it's another thing to experience it.

4) Dating gives you the oppurtunity to fix some flaws that you have.

5) I would not be blogging if I married the first girl!

Paspisin

Daf yomi recently had the word "Paspisin" for pieces of wood that divided a room. I like the sound of the word.